Total Eclipse of the "BLUE MOON"

Been a long time since I posted so I thought I would briefly update you on my Greenville Tri Training.

Last night was the hardest night so far....I had two pieces of pizza and a beer. The beer really didn't go down that easily as I probably haven't trained as well over the last few days as I needed to. Saturday night was a good training day, but unfortunatley, I haven't trained much this week until last night. The pizza you ask?....that was smooth...training really paid off there.

Seriously though...

Last night was a nice casual swim and was really enjoyable and relaxing. I didn't try to 'bust ass' as it was only my 3rd time in the pool in...well...15 years. I just took it nice and easy and really practiced on my breathing and form. Felt alot more comfortable in the pool yesterday and had no doubt when I was finished that I could "smoke" the little kids that were having swimming lessons in the lane next to me.

Speaking of the little kids...."Please keep you little "floaties" in your swim area". I took one of those in the head and the first thing I though was that it was either a 'fart bubble' or a "Babe Ruth" bar.

I am still having a difficult time focusing on my position in the lane when sharing it with someone else. I tend to "sway" a little bit when I "over reach" and it causes me to move into the other lane. David didn't seem to mind though as he let me hold onto his "blue marble bag" long enough to get me to the edge of the pool.

It was a good workout though. Despite the phantom "fart bubbles" and the site of David in his blue speedo, I swam 500 meters and will do the same on Saturday but try and string 5-100 meters lengths together rather than the 50m that I did last night.

One question as I end...does anyone like "BLUE MOON"....(nope, not the beer either).

Peace.

"...please hold you applause until the end."

AHHH...we are here...."THE MOTHER OF ALL BLOGS"....finally has arrived. MMM...can you smell it in the air. I can....or maybe that was - hold on a sec....I have to go across the hall...

I AM BACK ! ! ! Refreshed and feeling 3 pounds lighter.

So where do I start? Oh yeah...this isn't really the MOTHER OF ALL BLOGS...I just said that to keep everyone one "their toes"...Do they hurt yet? Anyways...let me start my "banter"....

FIRST...to that guy that hit me with their car the other day as I was crossing the street- here is a personal message for you:

"You stupid ass driver. When the hand is green, I walk and you stop. When the hand is blinking red, I continue to walk (no one else can start) and you must continue to wait. When the hand is solid red...I WILL BE OUT OF YOUR WAY ! ! ! ! Next time I see you downtown (believe me, I have been looking for your SUV), I will get your plate number. And don't EVER belittle me by saying "RED MEANS STOP" in that "patronizing voice" you arrogant, rich asshole. You need to GROW UP and restudy you DMV book ! ! ! ! Oh, by the way...I feel sorry for you becuase your day 'will come' and you probably will go broke because of it. Have fun - I hope your wife loves you enough to stay with you".

AHHHHH....that felt good. He pretty much heard the exact same thing the other day, but feels good to yell at my computer screen. Finally...CLOSURE. Thank you....

SECOND - Probably should have been the first point...but I LOVE being part of the RED SOX NATION right now. They are 10-1/2 games ahead of the Yankees with 118 games to play. Sure everyone says that it is too early in the season...YEAH....RIGHT. Let me do the math for you and you decide if it is too early in the season to be excited. The RED SOX are 31-13 (best record in baseball) and have a .704 winning percentage (again, tops). If the Sox play the same percentage ball till the end of the season...they will have a final record of 114-48 with 83 more wins from this day on. That means the Yanks would have to win 94 games - out of 118 remaining ! ! ! That would be a winning percentage of .798. Just to let you know....no team has every sustained a pace like that.....and oh, they still play the RED SOX 9 more times and the SOX are 6-2 against the Yanks so far. Not going to happen. Babe Ruth may as well roll over in his grave and let me spank him. Hell, I will let him spank me if the Yanks pull this one out.

THIRD - I am thinking about getting a membership at the Westside Aquatic Center so I can train for the Greenville Sprint Tri in a 50 meter pool. That reminds me.....(hold on-dialing the center).....(place Jeopardy theme here)....CRAP...no answer. I am not leaving an answer. If they can't have anyone use my tax dollars to answer the phone, then I am not talking into a machine.

FOURTH - I was talking to my brother the other day and we were having a good chat. He then says "hold on, I have another call coming in". He clicked over and I hung up. If he doesn't think that my phone call is important to him, it is not important for me to stay on the line. It is amazing how so many people are rude like that. Think about it...if they are talking to you - in person - do they say..."Stand right there, I have another friend I am going to walk over and talk to"? JUST TELL ME I AM BORING YOU...IT WON'T STING AS MUCH.

Other TIDBITS:

1. I was watching X-MEN - The Last Stand movie the other day and couldn't help but notice what an "awful" job Halle Berry did playing Storm. Should have kept her lines to say...none...and let Wolverine do all the talking

2.. I recieved 3 Learn to Speak Chinese DVDs from the China office the other day. Two of them do not work - and the third...it is in Chinese.

3. I have a great family, a nice house, great friends, and an excellent job....so WHY do I let other people "snub" me or talk down to me? Who are they? What makes them think they are better than me? NEWS FLASH PEOPLE....I also have a hotter wife than you.

4. David, beer?

Thank you to everyone that reads my blogs on a daily basis. I am sorry that I sometimes do not post on yours, but I do read them and enjoy them.

UP NEXT TIME....The FATHER OF ALL BLOGS ??? NAH....post a few things in your comments.....major goal in life, favorite color, number and a noun that starts with C along with the city where you were born....YOU WILL SEE....STAY TUNED.....

STAY TUNED FOR THE "MOTHER" OF ALL BLOGS

WHAT A STRANGE WORLD

The world is a strange place...with many unknowns. We send our eyes around corners before our bodies and we always keep a light on in the back of our mind. But there is one thing that never changes, never judges, and never stops loving us. That is our spouse.

I know you are probably sitting back and wondering why i am writing about something that would seem to be a "far stretch" from my past blogs. There is only one reason. My wife has returned from a weekend trip with her sister, and her return was much anticipated.

When she leaves I feel lost - almost completely out of place - in this strange world. I have lived 34 years before I married Robin and she is gone for a weekend and I am lost. Almost as if I am a sad child who is lost in a store or an elderly person lost looking for a car in the parking lot.

Sure I was fine when she was gone, I kept up the normal weekend chores and did the weekly shopping. But still, without her here, something was missing. Something deep in my eyes that allows me to "look around the corner before my body"...and something deep in the back of the mind that "keeps the light on for me".

I know my wife really loved the time she spend with her sister. But for her to arrive home after what seemed and eternity was one of the best moments of our marriage.

Yep...it's a strange world.

"C" is for COOKIE

It is Wednesday morning (9:40am) and the first phone call from my wife was to let me know that my "diet sucks". She is right. I will explain why.

As I try to get back into shape there are several ways that I can accomplish it. The most obvious is to exercise more - which I have been doing at a moderate pace..just not where I need to be....

You know what...everyone knows how to exercise so I will not bore you with those details. Let's take a look at some of my favorite foods - over the last week - and show the benefits from eating them.

McDonalds Chicken Nuggets - Protein..need I say more.
Smarties - FRUIT GROUP ! !
Beer - builds biceps and forearms (depending on how you hold the bottle)

And finally, the other three things of JUNK I had this week are DORITOS (dairy group), BREWSTERS (dairy group), and a BIG COOKIE with ICE CREAM (dairy group) and Chocolate sauce on it (SURVIVOR TREAT)....did I mention that my wife had all of these as well?

It is hard to eat right only becuase all the crap food taste so good. At work, I eat VERY WELL and I haven't had a beer in 2 days (shaking, shaking). But I keep trying...and exercising is picking up a bit.

So without further delay...her is a list of food that I LOVE THE MOST...(in order)

5. Orange Sherbert - good for you...just not in the portions I have
4. Smartees - little orgasim in your mouth
3. Medium Rare meat - any type (will wait for David's comment on this)
2. pepperoni - (still will wait for a comment from David)
And the #1 food I love the most - Chips (the greasier and saltier the better)

Until the next blog and CHIPS AHOY ! !
Scott

Just one of those mornings

Ever have one of those mornings where nothing goes right and you just hope that today "picks up a little"....even just deviate from the morning just a little. I sure the hell hope that it today. Let me break down what has happened since I woke up at 6:50am.

Times are approximates.

6:51 - Dog would not pee...that put me behind right off the bat

6:55 - drop the shampoo in the shower. While bending over to get it, my ass hits the cold wall of the shower.

7:00 - The shirt that I was ironing in the dryer was not done yet...had to wait a couple of minutes.

7:02 - walk the dog again so she can go #2...she just ate. Decided not to wear shoes or socks...stepped in DOG SHIT. Guess I didn't pick it all up last night.

7:03 - washed my foot and got my pant leg wet

7:05 - finally sat down for breakfast (cereal)....waited too long to begin after pouring in the milk....SOGGY

7:10 - Get the catfood and going to feed them. Stepped on a tack in the garage...did I mention I still have NO SHOES ON ! ! !

7:18 - leave the house...no problems here

7:42 - arrive in the office

8:00 - need to make copies of SPC report....paper jams

8:05 - fix copying machine but for some reason....still senses paper jam.

8:10 - after 5 minutes of trying I go back to my office to print the report on my printer.

8:11 - NO MORE INK ! ! !

I hope everyone has a great day....I am not moving from my chair until 5:00pm.

Been a LONG TIME

Wow...it has been a long time since I last "blogged". So without further delay...I would like to give each one of you a taste of what has been going on in my life since my last "blog"....

here I go....(think, think).

NOTHING ! ! !

Just kidding. One of the more memorable events that took place was seeing my good friend - and his "marbles"- compete in the Triathlon at Clemson University. The event was Saturday morning and really was quite enjoyable...Especially when David came out of the water in his tri-suit...YUM.

Anyways...my wife and I spent the morning just relaxing as we watched the athletes compete in the "FU 3 times" events. All in all...it was a good day.

David really did very well...especially during that last little "bitch sprint" to the finish line....show off....(if you had that much more at the end...you left ALOT in the tank). What am I talking about...I am the one that cycles at a cool 15mph while David flys by me at 25mph...then waits...and repeats.

But to all of you as I close this blog...I will say one thing....

I will continue to entertain you with my blogs...you were not forgotton. Just that sometimes the hamster in my head "stops running on the wheel".