Thursday, April 26, 2007

Intelligence is the "Ability to Self Analyze"

Where to start? This being my first "blog" and with alot of my friend doing it, I feel a little "added pressure" just to keep up with them. Reading some blogs they have posted in the past, it appears that the first step is a good "grabber line" to get everyone's attention...let's see (think, think, think)....

GOT IT ! ! ! ! " I HAVE A DREAM"....(nope, already been done)...
How's this? "And the Boston Red Sox win their first world title in 86 years"...(that is good...but again, not original).

I guess a simple word with suffice....ARGH ! ! !

As I try to get back into working out, I always seem to run into wall that I seemingly always place in front of me. For example, last evening I ventured out on a "modest" run becuase I was simply in the mood and knew that I needed to do it. So, I strapped up my shoes, put on my best shirt, and hit the road...WALKING.

That's right...a blistering 15 min/mile pace - Just for the first few yards. To be quite honest, my run consisted of about 1 mile of walking and 100 feet or running. How could this be? I am the survivor of the Goofy Challenge (39.3miles) ! ! ! And that was just a few months ago.

I guess the simplest answer is that I recently have not had the ability recently to "self-analyze" where I am or what my expectations are of myself. Only intelligent people have the ability to do this right? Pondering on these words, I do not claim to be intelligent, but I am a very capable and smart individual that should - in the face of adversity - step up and push through the pain in my legs, mind, and heart.

Self Analyzation is an intangible thought that cannot be fed with extra food, extra rest, or even extra support from others. It is the ability to reach deep within ones soul, heart, and mind, and filter out all the stuff that clogs dreams and aspirations.

Because of my inability over the last few months to push through training...I am being left behind. Left behind by my friends who I have run with for so long. Left behind in the coldness of my own shadow (becuase that is my only running partner). My pride keeps me away from my old running group in fear of this shadow actually passing me and leaving me in last.

I am having a difficult time getting this "soon to be" 38 year old body to respond. Not trying to come up with excuses...but is hard battling off the aches and pains I feel so I come up with reasons in my head why putting off running is a good idea for that moment. Before I know it, one moment turns into two, and then 3....soon, a month has passed and my desire has left me.

Maybe this blog is the first step to becoming an intelligent person? Maybe I have finally analyzed myself? Maybe it is walk faster? NOPE....time to RUN and get these bones in shape.

I miss my friends and I miss time I spend with my wife on the road running. Today we are going cycling and I look forward to it. She is my "crutch", my "cape", and "my best friend".

So now that I have seemingly reached a "right of passage" and analyzed myself to the "nth" degree...what is next? is the list (no particular order except #1 has to stay #1):

1. Love my wife more than the previous day
2. Red Sox win the World series again

That is the list....(just kidding)....I am getting "back on the wagon" and cycling tonight.

Looking back at this blog, I realized what the 'grabber line' should have been at the beginning of this blog....

"Pain is but a memory...hopefully my memory SUCKS"



Gotta Run said...

Scott -
I will do all to support and motivate you in all you do. NOW GET RUNNING :)!!!

Great post! Robin

David said...

There is no greater opponent than your own self-doubt. I remind myself of that every time I lace up my (stupid) running shoes, or jump on my (magic chariot) bike. Taking that first step - or first step back - into the fray kills the beast that is the biggest foe.

Now quit yer whining and go run! ;-)

Mendy said...

Scott, Fantastic Post! I seem to be going through a lot of what you are right now, and it started after the Half for me. My motivation and love,enjoyment for running sort of declined. My "easy" runs have not seemed so easy. But, I'm back and it just took a leap from within my head, and my feet followed, even though my pace needs some more work to catch up to what my "shadow" is.

You're going to do great, and blogging will help. At least, it did/does with me. It's my accountability.

Plus, it doesn't hurt to have that enthusiastic wife of yours on her runner's highs, around you! Kinda rubs off...