Wednesday, May 23, 2007

"...please hold you applause until the end."

AHHH...we are here...."THE MOTHER OF ALL BLOGS"....finally has arrived. MMM...can you smell it in the air. I can....or maybe that was - hold on a sec....I have to go across the hall...

I AM BACK ! ! ! Refreshed and feeling 3 pounds lighter.

So where do I start? Oh yeah...this isn't really the MOTHER OF ALL BLOGS...I just said that to keep everyone one "their toes"...Do they hurt yet? Anyways...let me start my "banter".... that guy that hit me with their car the other day as I was crossing the street- here is a personal message for you:

"You stupid ass driver. When the hand is green, I walk and you stop. When the hand is blinking red, I continue to walk (no one else can start) and you must continue to wait. When the hand is solid red...I WILL BE OUT OF YOUR WAY ! ! ! ! Next time I see you downtown (believe me, I have been looking for your SUV), I will get your plate number. And don't EVER belittle me by saying "RED MEANS STOP" in that "patronizing voice" you arrogant, rich asshole. You need to GROW UP and restudy you DMV book ! ! ! ! Oh, by the way...I feel sorry for you becuase your day 'will come' and you probably will go broke because of it. Have fun - I hope your wife loves you enough to stay with you".

AHHHHH....that felt good. He pretty much heard the exact same thing the other day, but feels good to yell at my computer screen. Finally...CLOSURE. Thank you....

SECOND - Probably should have been the first point...but I LOVE being part of the RED SOX NATION right now. They are 10-1/2 games ahead of the Yankees with 118 games to play. Sure everyone says that it is too early in the season...YEAH....RIGHT. Let me do the math for you and you decide if it is too early in the season to be excited. The RED SOX are 31-13 (best record in baseball) and have a .704 winning percentage (again, tops). If the Sox play the same percentage ball till the end of the season...they will have a final record of 114-48 with 83 more wins from this day on. That means the Yanks would have to win 94 games - out of 118 remaining ! ! ! That would be a winning percentage of .798. Just to let you team has every sustained a pace like that.....and oh, they still play the RED SOX 9 more times and the SOX are 6-2 against the Yanks so far. Not going to happen. Babe Ruth may as well roll over in his grave and let me spank him. Hell, I will let him spank me if the Yanks pull this one out.

THIRD - I am thinking about getting a membership at the Westside Aquatic Center so I can train for the Greenville Sprint Tri in a 50 meter pool. That reminds me.....(hold on-dialing the center).....(place Jeopardy theme here) answer. I am not leaving an answer. If they can't have anyone use my tax dollars to answer the phone, then I am not talking into a machine.

FOURTH - I was talking to my brother the other day and we were having a good chat. He then says "hold on, I have another call coming in". He clicked over and I hung up. If he doesn't think that my phone call is important to him, it is not important for me to stay on the line. It is amazing how so many people are rude like that. Think about it...if they are talking to you - in person - do they say..."Stand right there, I have another friend I am going to walk over and talk to"? JUST TELL ME I AM BORING YOU...IT WON'T STING AS MUCH.


1. I was watching X-MEN - The Last Stand movie the other day and couldn't help but notice what an "awful" job Halle Berry did playing Storm. Should have kept her lines to say...none...and let Wolverine do all the talking

2.. I recieved 3 Learn to Speak Chinese DVDs from the China office the other day. Two of them do not work - and the is in Chinese.

3. I have a great family, a nice house, great friends, and an excellent WHY do I let other people "snub" me or talk down to me? Who are they? What makes them think they are better than me? NEWS FLASH PEOPLE....I also have a hotter wife than you.

4. David, beer?

Thank you to everyone that reads my blogs on a daily basis. I am sorry that I sometimes do not post on yours, but I do read them and enjoy them.

UP NEXT TIME....The FATHER OF ALL BLOGS ??? a few things in your comments.....major goal in life, favorite color, number and a noun that starts with C along with the city where you were born....YOU WILL SEE....STAY TUNED.....


David said...

I hope you feel better. Must have been some ROUGH t.p. on the old cornhole.

Yes, beer.

Mendy said...

Scott, you crack me up. Yea, I hate rude drivers, bad drivers aren't as BAD as rude drivers. Didn't know you got hit the other day.

We'll have a beer soon, but, I know you're out of town this weekend, well, up in the mountains of G'ville. hehe... Have a great time!

Why don't you just swim at the Golden Strip? Is is that you want to swim at the pool that the tri's at? I'm swimming in that pool training for the Tri.

Jason The Running Man said...

Preach it brother!

Nikki said...

LMAO!! Ok that was really sad that someone couldn't wait 5 seconds for you to run across the street...come on already!

I have almost been hit(with my 12 year old son) while running..scary stuff! Glad your ok!

Glenn said...


Yeah, my idiot brother does not mention the fact that a "click-over" to another line is to speak to a client that actually needs things done. Understandably that the work line and "brother-chat" connection are two in the same.